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· 72 ratings · vii reviews
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This book really resonated with me. Non all fat people have families that have codependent qualities, but mine sure does. After going through some hell with my family unit this yr, I realized that much of our family network is, in fact, based on codependency. For me, information technology'southward mostly my mom. She used manipulation and the "victim" circuitous to get people to exercise what she wants. I've e'er fallen for it and felt sorry for her, but after her treating me then crappy this past year and then reading this volume, I r This book really resonated with me. Non all fat people take families that have codependent qualities, but mine certain does. After going through some hell with my family unit this twelvemonth, I realized that much of our family network is, in fact, based on codependency. For me, it's mostly my mom. She used manipulation and the "victim" complex to get people to do what she wants. I've e'er fallen for it and felt pitiful for her, but after her treating me and so crappy this by year and then reading this book, I realize that it's time to "detach with honey". Sounds hokey, I know...but was an important stride for me to start losing weight. Later on I started detaching - not seeing her as much, not playing into her guilt trips - I started to focus on me a little more. Having a husband and kids, my whole life is about other people, however, I realized, giving so much attending to my parents, left me trivial room to have intendance of myself. Then I told myself, at present I'm going to beginning doing things for me! Only then I was perplexed...what the hell was that? I didn't even know anymore what I wanted. And I realized, I wanted to be healthier...just the depression coming from the agree my family has over me and the time given to them, left me piffling time to practise. And let me tell you, moving from a sedentary life to a life of eating right and exercise takes TIME. Priorities had to alter and time had to be given to exercise. This made me feel and seem very selfish. But I realize I take to practice information technology. I got up to well-nigh 400 lbs last year and I was slowly killing myself. No more. I'm down to 330 lbs and yet going. This volume actually helped me with that. Some of the questions from this book that I could answer yes to:"I feel safest when I am giving."
"I only feel good near myself if I have your approval."
"I am very concerned with how you wait, because you are a reflection of me."
"When you are hurting, I frequently feel it more deeply than you do."
"I demand to exist needed."
"If someone is angry with me, I find that intolerable."
"Codependents demand aid to have intendance of themselves without guilt or excessive feelings of responsibility."
If you experience like you lot tin answer yes to some of these questions, or if you experience overly attached to your family and struggle with weight, or if yous have someone close to y'all who weighs besides much, this book is for you. It really helped me open up my eyes to some things and I'thousand really glad my aunt gave me her copy. Patently she knew something more nigh our family than I did.
Ane more annotation - it wasn't piece of cake to write this. Delight, if you lot have criticisms, that's ok, but try still exist a little supportive as well. Thanks.
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An overall outstanding resource on eating disorders, codependency, and food obsession. The factor that kept this from being a 5-star review, withal, is how degradingly she speaks of fatty bodies. I have worked for years to love myself just as I am and I refuse to entertain such ugly language as so-called motivation to lose weight. It'due south non on every page, merely there's enough of information technology to actually put me off. Dr. Hollister might accept needed to view her weight and torso as icky to motivate herself, bu An overall outstanding resource on eating disorders, codependency, and food obsession. The factor that kept this from being a v-star review, nevertheless, is how degradingly she speaks of fat bodies. I have worked for years to dearest myself just every bit I am and I refuse to entertain such ugly language equally so-called motivation to lose weight. It's not on every page, only there's enough of it to really put me off. Dr. Hollister might have needed to view her weight and body equally icky to motivate herself, but I find it incredibly difficult to love and nurture something I despise, and so that role of her approach does not remotely work for me. ...more
This is i of the outset books on eating disorders by Judi Hollis who was a leader in this field earlier it was a pop field. I learned a lot from her in what treatment involved and how it didn't really have much to do with food at all. The book was written over 35 years ago, then may non be as up to appointment as others, merely it is still relevant and a leader in its solar day. This is one of the showtime books on eating disorders by Judi Hollis who was a leader in this field before information technology was a pop field. I learned a lot from her in what treatment involved and how it didn't really accept much to exercise with food at all. The book was written over 35 years ago, and then may non exist every bit up to date as others, but information technology is still relevant and a leader in its mean solar day. ...more than
Profoundly life-changing I heard of this book because information technology was mentioned in the volume Shades of Hope.
I found myself eating differently just from reading it.
I simply wish it were longer and filled with even more than real life stories from people in recovery
Update:
I got to the end of the volume and idea, wow that was short. I went back to the table of contents and saw that I accidentally skipped 6 chapters since I was reading before bed every dark and must've not realized it. So I've changed my rating
Profoundly life-changing I heard of this book because it was mentioned in the book Shades of Hope.
I found myself eating differently just from reading it.
I merely wish it were longer and filled with even more existent life stories from people in recovery
Update:
I got to the cease of the volume and thought, wow that was short. I went dorsum to the table of contents and saw that I accidentally skipped vi chapters since I was reading before bed every night and must've not realized it. So I've changed my rating to 5 stars because in that location were lots of examples.
Likewise this has led me to wait for an OA meeting because it'south difficult and I can't conquer the food problem on my own.
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Let the immersion in eating disorders literature begin. this was a good start, I think, an outgoing, applied guide to, primarily, rampage-eating. Information technology'south geared towards individuals either in, or considering, recovery, but it'south skillful for clinicians too. Hollis is a pioneer in eating disorder treatments and actually created the showtime eating disorder dispensary in the United States. She knows of what she speaks. I like and capeesh that her approach is so wrapped up in a family systems approach, whic Let the immersion in eating disorders literature begin. this was a practiced start, I recollect, an outgoing, practical guide to, primarily, binge-eating. It'due south geared towards individuals either in, or considering, recovery, but it's good for clinicians too. Hollis is a pioneer in eating disorder treatments and actually created the outset eating disorder clinic in the Usa. She knows of what she speaks. I like and appreciate that her approach is so wrapped up in a family systems approach, which I think is probably missing from a lot of ED treatments. ...more than
This was my introduction to fatty studies aside from seedy internet forums, and it actually highlighted the dysfunction in my ain family unit also as the dysfunction in others' families. The part of the book that enlightened me the virtually was the depiction of the helpful enabler who actually creates a culture of shame. This was my introduction to fat studies aside from seedy internet forums, and it really highlighted the dysfunction in my own family unit besides equally the dysfunction in others' families. The part of the book that enlightened me the most was the depiction of the helpful enabler who actually creates a civilization of shame. ...more
Decent content, but poorly written. Hard to follow the structure.
For more than thirty years, Dr. Judi Hollis has been featured on CNN, Extra, Within Edition, Oprah, Sally, and Leeza among others. Cocky magazine voted her treatments among the acme 10 in the nation. She has been a licensed family therapist for more than xxx years and is maintaining her own 70-pound weight loss. Her difficult message of promoting internal spiritual connection and deep personality ch For more than xxx years, Dr. Judi Hollis has been featured on CNN, Extra, Within Edition, Oprah, Sally, and Leeza amongst others. Self magazine voted her treatments amid the superlative x in the nation. She has been a licensed family therapist for more than than 30 years and is maintaining her own 70-pound weight loss. Her difficult message of promoting internal spiritual connection and deep personality alter is the only valid and lasting approach to weight loss. ...more
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